Yesterday an earthquake measuring 5.9 on the Richter scale hit the mid-Atlantic coast. It was felt as far north as Canada and as far south as central South Carolina. To my knowledge there was only property damage and no fatalities. Fortunately it was a relatively minor quake.
Today, evangelist Pat Robertson said that the earthquake was God’s revenge on meterosexuals, those men who “get manicures and wear designer eyewear”. He went on to say, “God finds this somewhat gay-like behavior confusing, and He responded by getting mildly peeved.”.
Okay…so, a god who is omniscient throughout time is confused by men who like to look nice and present themselves well? Sounds more like some old guy standing on his porch yelling “Get a haircut, ya hippie!”.
Robertson continues, warning that if Americans continue with their “seemingly sort-of-gay behavior,” we in the US should brace itself for additional ambiguous acts of retaliation from the Almighty.
“God will strike back at people who act sort of gay with all kinds of mild responses,” he said. “If you keep getting pedicures and facials, you can expect two to three inches of rain and some really hot humid days in your future.”
Someone should tell Roberson that he just described a typical summer day in Florida.
Roberston feels that because some people in New York had what he refers to as an “over the top reaction”, those people will “run the risk of moderately annoying the Heavenly Father yet again.”.
“God looks at people who get their panties in a twist after a little shaking, and He says to Himself, ‘Wow, that’s really kind of gay,’” he said.
In other episodes of the 700 Club, Robertson has blamed the earthquake in Haiti on a supposed Satanic Voodoo pact that the Haitians made to gain their independence. Now he’s blaming yeasterday’s earthquake on metrosexuals. This, coming from a man who wears make-up.